How to Involve Loved Ones in the Funeral Service

Posted by: Erin Ward in Funeral Planning Resources, Funeral Advice | July 15, 2021

Finding ways to involve family and friends in the funeral service lets everyone be included in honoring their loved one’s legacy. It's also a way for them to show their respect and love for the deceased. 

Whether it’s a role front and center during the service or something in the background, there are many ways to include everyone. Below are a few ideas to get you started.


Involving Loved Ones in the Funeral Preparation 

When preparing for a funeral, there are a lot of small things to check off the to-do list. By letting family and friends be a part of the process, they can honor their loved one while relieving the immediate family of some stress. 

Below are a few ways loved ones can help make sure the funeral goes smoothly: 

  • Gather photos and mementos for memorial displays and tribute videos. 
  • Choose songs to play at the visitation and funeral service. 
  • Select poems, quotes, scripture, and other readings for the service. 
  • Decide what funeral gifts you want to give to the funeral guests. 
  • Help write the obituary. 


Participating in the Funeral Service 

For those who are comfortable with being in front of a group of people, they may prefer a role in the funeral service itself. Of course, there may not be enough roles for everyone to participate in the funeral, so that’s why opening the funeral preparation process to family and friends is a great alternative. 

Depending on the end-of-life arrangements that you choose, here are some ideas for participating in the funeral: 

  • Perform the eulogy. 
  • Say one of the selected readings for the service. 
  • Sing a memorial song or play an instrument. 
  • Be a pallbearer
  • Usher people to their seats if there’s assigned seating. 


Being Included from Afar 

If people live out of town or have prior commitments that prevent them from being able to attend the funeral, there are still ways for them to be included in the service. There are many funeral technology solutions available to us today that allow people to participate virtually. 

Below are a few ways people can show their support from afar: 

  • Say a speech via video chat. 
  • Share your speech with a loved one to read on your behalf. 
  • Give the family a monetary donation. 
  • Send the family funeral flowers or another gift to display at the service. 
  • Post a favorite memory of your loved one on their online memorial page. During the service, the family could read it or direct funeral guests to the link. 

 What other ideas do you have for how to involve loved ones in the funeral service? Share them in the comments!

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