The Do's and Don'ts of Writing a Sympathy Note

Posted by: Brigitte Ganger in Grief and Guidance, Funeral Advice | September 21, 2021

Writing a sympathy note is a thoughtful way to express your condolences when someone you know has suffered a recent loss. However, it is essential to strike the right tone and offer your sympathy with sensitivity. 

 

Use this list of do's and don'ts to guide you as you craft the perfect note of sympathy.


Do

  1. Write that note, even when you feel awkward. Skipping the note might be interpreted as a sign that you don't care about the family's sorrow. This is never the message you want to send.
  2. Send the note as soon as you hear about the death. The first days and weeks after a loss are often the worst. This is the time to offer your heartfelt sympathy.
  3. Send a stock-printed card if you barely knew the deceased or the family. If the relationship was closer, be sure to write a personal note or letter. When in doubt, send flowers along with your note.
  4. Remember the note is for the living, not the deceased. Even if you didn't get along with the deceased or didn't know the person at all, it's always appropriate to offer sympathy to the family.
  5. Tell them you're sorry they suffered a loss. This is the essence of your message. It doesn't need to be fancy, but it always needs to be said. Let them know they're in your thoughts as they struggle with their grief.
  6. Share a positive memory of thoughtfulness, warmth, or other positive qualities the loved one possessed if you were also close with the deceased. Gentle humor can be just what the family needs, so it's fine to share a funny story if it puts the deceased in a good light.
  7. Offer some help. If you're far away, you might say "I'm here any time you want to talk." If you live close by, bring a casserole, offer to walk the dog, or do some babysitting.

 

Don't

  1. Say "Let me know if you need anything." While this is a popular gesture, it's essentially an empty one. The bereaved is too busy and in too much pain to think of things for you to do. If you really want to help, offer something specific.
  2. Say "Mary's finally out of pain." Avoid saying anything that makes it sound like the death was a good thing.
  3. Express religious sentiments, unless you're sure the family shares those beliefs. To non-believers, these sentiments might sound empty and make them feel worse. 


Condolence notes can be a source of comfort and let sorrowing relatives know they are not alone. With a few simple words, you can let the bereaved know you care and brighten their day.

88 Comments

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Helen magnee

September 14

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Helen magnee

September 14

THANKS TO POWERFUL VOODOO CASTER DR SAKOMO FOR REVIVING MY MARRIAGE/HOME

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Helen magnee

September 14

THANKS TO POWERFUL VOODOO CASTER DR SAKOMO FOR REVIVING MY MARRIAGE/HOME

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Helen magnee

September 14

THANKS TO POWERFUL VOODOO CASTER DR SAKOMO FOR REVIVING MY MARRIAGE/HOME

Good day everyone my name is Helen Magnee I am from Norway but living in Ontario Canada , I am here to share a great testimony to the world, letting people knows the Great powers of DR SAKOMO, I am married to my husband for 20 Years, living together, happy and business was going on well with us, Until a strange lady parked into our neighborhood, we never knew that she have a bad intentions in her heart, she came close to my Family, All of sudden my husband started falling for her, My husband went on a date with her, proposed to her and even wanted to end our 20 years of Marriage, I was so surprised, confused, and i don't know what to do any more because i thought i have lost everything i have suffered to build for the past 2 decade, I went online for help, then i saw DR SAKOMO website :(https://drsakomolovespellhome.net/index), how he have helped people with his powerful voodoo, I contacted him Via his whats app number on : +905467725889, I told him my story, just in simple words, he told me that my husband is under a powerful Binding Spell that we need to break him loose so that he can return back to his senses. He helped me and my husband got back to his sense and that powerful spell that was cast on him, was broken by DR SAKOMO. All thanks to DR SAKOMO for reviving home back. If you have any problem in your home, office, court case, other wise just contact him and he will help you bring back happiness and joy into your life. Here are the contact details of the Powerful Priest : WhatsApp +905467725889 or visit his website :(https://drsakomolovespellhome.net/index) or Email : contact@drsakomolovespellhome.net

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Helen magnee

September 14

THANKS TO POWERFUL VOODOO CASTER DR SAKOMO FOR REVIVING MY MARRIAGE/HOME

Good day everyone my name is Helen Magnee I am from Norway but living in Ontario Canada , I am here to share a great testimony to the world, letting people knows the Great powers of DR SAKOMO, I am married to my husband for 20 Years, living together, happy and business was going on well with us, Until a strange lady parked into our neighborhood, we never knew that she have a bad intentions in her heart, she came close to my Family, All of sudden my husband started falling for her, My husband went on a date with her, proposed to her and even wanted to end our 20 years of Marriage, I was so surprised, confused, and i don't know what to do any more because i thought i have lost everything i have suffered to build for the past 2 decade, I went online for help, then i saw DR SAKOMO website :(https://drsakomolovespellhome.net/index), how he have helped people with his powerful voodoo, I contacted him Via his whats app number on : +905467725889, I told him my story, just in simple words, he told me that my husband is under a powerful Binding Spell that we need to break him loose so that he can return back to his senses. He helped me and my husband got back to his sense and that powerful spell that was cast on him, was broken by DR SAKOMO. All thanks to DR SAKOMO for reviving home back. If you have any problem in your home, office, court case, other wise just contact him and he will help you bring back happiness and joy into your life. Here are the contact details of the Powerful Priest : WhatsApp +905467725889 or visit his website :(https://drsakomolovespellhome.net/index) or Email : contact@drsakomolovespellhome.net

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Helen magnee

September 14

THANKS TO POWERFUL VOODOO CASTER DR SAKOMO FOR REVIVING MY MARRIAGE/HOME

Good day everyone my name is Helen Magnee I am from Norway but living in Ontario Canada , I am here to share a great testimony to the world, letting people knows the Great powers of DR SAKOMO, I am married to my husband for 20 Years, living together, happy and business was going on well with us, Until a strange lady parked into our neighborhood, we never knew that she have a bad intentions in her heart, she came close to my Family, All of sudden my husband started falling for her, My husband went on a date with her, proposed to her and even wanted to end our 20 years of Marriage, I was so surprised, confused, and i don't know what to do any more because i thought i have lost everything i have suffered to build for the past 2 decade, I went online for help, then i saw DR SAKOMO website :(https://drsakomolovespellhome.net/index), how he have helped people with his powerful voodoo, I contacted him Via his whats app number on : +905467725889, I told him my story, just in simple words, he told me that my husband is under a powerful Binding Spell that we need to break him loose so that he can return back to his senses. He helped me and my husband got back to his sense and that powerful spell that was cast on him, was broken by DR SAKOMO. All thanks to DR SAKOMO for reviving home back. If you have any problem in your home, office, court case, other wise just contact him and he will help you bring back happiness and joy into your life. Here are the contact details of the Powerful Priest : WhatsApp +905467725889 or visit his website :(https://drsakomolovespellhome.net/index) or Email : contact@drsakomolovespellhome.net

H

Helen magnee

September 14

THANKS TO POWERFUL VOODOO CASTER DR SAKOMO FOR REVIVING MY MARRIAGE/HOME

Good day everyone my name is Helen Magnee I am from Norway but living in Ontario Canada , I am here to share a great testimony to the world, letting people knows the Great powers of DR SAKOMO, I am married to my husband for 20 Years, living together, happy and business was going on well with us, Until a strange lady parked into our neighborhood, we never knew that she have a bad intentions in her heart, she came close to my Family, All of sudden my husband started falling for her, My husband went on a date with her, proposed to her and even wanted to end our 20 years of Marriage, I was so surprised, confused, and i don't know what to do any more because i thought i have lost everything i have suffered to build for the past 2 decade, I went online for help, then i saw DR SAKOMO website :(https://drsakomolovespellhome.net/index), how he have helped people with his powerful voodoo, I contacted him Via his whats app number on : +905467725889, I told him my story, just in simple words, he told me that my husband is under a powerful Binding Spell that we need to break him loose so that he can return back to his senses. He helped me and my husband got back to his sense and that powerful spell that was cast on him, was broken by DR SAKOMO. All thanks to DR SAKOMO for reviving home back. If you have any problem in your home, office, court case, other wise just contact him and he will help you bring back happiness and joy into your life. Here are the contact details of the Powerful Priest : WhatsApp +905467725889 or visit his website :(https://drsakomolovespellhome.net/index) or Email : contact@drsakomolovespellhome.net

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