Jennifer Haynes Stiefel, Deacon
The Rev. Dr. Jennifer Haynes Stiefel, Deacon, 77, of Dover, NH, died Thursday, June 9, 2022, after a long illness. Jennifer died peacefully in the presence of her loving husband of more than 52 years, the Rev. Dr. Robert Earl Stiefel, with whom she served at Christ Episcopal Church, Portsmouth, from 1991 to 2002. Robert and Jennifer married at the Episcopal Church of the Advent in Boston, MA, on December 6, 1969. Jennifer graduated from Harvard University (AB, 1966), and served in the Peace Corps (Amphur Lom Kao, Petchaboon Province, Thailand, 1966–1969). She subsequently obtained an MDiv from Nashotah House Theological Seminary (1978) and was ordained a Deacon in May 1985 by the Right Rev. William Carl Frey, Bishop of Colorado. In 1987, she began doctoral studies as an Episcopal Church Foundation Fellow at Union Theological Seminary (PhD, 2000). Her Peace Corps experience shaped Jennifer’s life. While in the Peace Corps, Jennifer felt a calling to pursue religious studies and to practice her faith as a lay minister. Here is a summary of just part of her contributions to the work of Jesus as layperson and deacon over four decades in two seminaries, five dioceses, five parishes, and two retirement communities. A deacon is “to serve all people, particularly the poor, the weak, the sick, and the lonely,” and “to interpret to the Church the needs, concerns, and hopes of the world” (Book of Common Prayer, 543). As a biblical scholar and passionate advocate for racial and social justice, and for the diaconate, Jennifer was in many ways a forerunner for the role of deacons in some of the dioceses where she served. Jennifer realized that the priest represents the transcendent relation of God and humans, and the deacon stands for the horizontal relation between God and the world, together forming a cross. After receiving her MDiv from Nashotah House Theological Seminary, she served the Right Rev. Frey as a writer and developer of the biblical background for the three-year lectionary-based curriculum, Living the Good News, which is still used nationally, and, as a member of the Commission on Ministry, was the principal designer of the diocesan program for the discernment and ordination of candidates for the diaconate. Jennifer taught others how to serve as deacons in the liturgy and in various outreach ministries. This work and the requirements she helped to develop led to her own ordination. Jennifer recognized that deacons connect Christian spirituality to the real-life needs of the world. She believed that ordained clergy should not override lay ministries and that deacons are charged to remind the ordained to fulfill their given ministries. True to her own teaching, while working on her PhD in New York, she served at St. Mary's, Harlem, a racially and culturally diverse parish. When Jennifer and Robert moved to NH, she established an unofficial link with St. Mary's that resulted in an active collegial/congregational relationship between New Hope Baptist Church, and Christ Church that lasted for 11 years until her retirement in 2002. For example, Jennifer arranged for the St. Mary’s Gospel Choir to visit and perform at the University of New Hampshire, Durham, and at New Hope Baptist Church and Christ Church, Portsmouth. Further, Jennifer worked closely with Valerie Cunningham to develop the Black Heritage Trail of New Hampshire and served on the executive board at the regional NAACP chapter. Jennifer considered her marriage of 52+ years her primary life accomplishment. During their decades together, Jennifer and Robert explored the relationship between a gay man and a straight woman in love. With the support of area clergy, Robert came out as gay on May 21, 1997. Jennifer is survived by her beloved spouse, Robert Earl Stiefel, six nieces and nephews and their families, 12 grand-nieces and grand-nephews, and numerous cousins. Jennifer was born in Boston, MA, the daughter of the late Kilby Page Smith, Jr. (born in Waltham, MA, on Feb. 25, 1904, and died in Boston, MA, May 13, 1980), and Elizabeth Carret Smith (born in Brookline, MA, on Sep. 24, 1908 and died in Greenville, SC, on Oct. 23, 1984). Jennifer was predeceased by her brother, Kilby Page Smith III (born Dec. 28, 1933, in Waltham, MA, and died Jul. 12, 2008, in Greenville, SC,) and his wife Patricia (Patt) Alden Smith (born Aug. 22, 1938 in Warren, OH, and died in Greenville, SC, on Oct. 17, 2020), and her two sisters, Sandra Carret Smith Short (born in Boston, MA, on Jan. 12, 1933 and died in Boston, MA, on Oct. 2, 1981; husband, Leonard Victor Short, Jr.;) and Margot Weld Smith Hambly Cole (born in Nantucket, MA on Aug. 23, 1938, and died in San Francisco, on Mar. 25, 1989; husband, Richard S. Cole).. The family thanks Constellation Hospice and Dover Center staff for loving care. Jennifer’s ashes were interred at Christ Church, Portsmouth, NH, and at St. Gregory’s Abbey, Three Rivers, MI. A Requiem Service was offered on Tuesday, June 21, 2022, at Christ Church, Portsmouth, and an Interment Service was offered on July 8, 2022, at St. Gregory’s Abbey. Videos of both services are available. May she rest in peace, rise in glory, and know the grateful welcome of her Savior, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” In lieu of flowers, memorials to the Seacoast NAACP and the Black Heritage Trail of New Hampshire would be greatly appreciated. Obituary at https://www.taskerfuneralservice.com/.Obituary
The Rev. Dr. Jennifer Haynes Stiefel, Deacon, 77, of Dover, NH, died Thursday, June 9, 2022, after a long illness. Jennifer died peacefully in the presence of her loving husband of more than 52 years, the Rev. Dr. Robert Earl Stiefel, with whom she served at Christ Episcopal Church, Portsmouth, from 1991 to 2002. Robert and Jennifer married at the Episcopal Church of the Advent in Boston, MA, on December 6, 1969. Jennifer graduated from Harvard University (AB, 1966), and served in the Peace Corps (Amphur Lom Kao, Petchaboon Province, Thailand, 1966–1969). She subsequently obtained an MDiv from Nashotah House Theological Seminary (1978) and was ordained a Deacon in May 1985 by the Right Rev. William Carl Frey, Bishop of Colorado. In 1987, she began doctoral studies as an Episcopal Church Foundation Fellow at Union Theological Seminary (PhD, 2000). Her Peace Corps experience shaped Jennifer’s life. While in the Peace Corps, Jennifer felt a calling to pursue religious studies and to practice her faith as a lay minister. Here is a summary of just part of her contributions to the work of Jesus as layperson and deacon over four decades in two seminaries, five dioceses, five parishes, and two retirement communities. A deacon is “to serve all people, particularly the poor, the weak, the sick, and the lonely,” and “to interpret to the Church the needs, concerns, and hopes of the world” (Book of Common Prayer, 543). As a biblical scholar and passionate advocate for racial and social justice, and for the diaconate, Jennifer was in many ways a forerunner for the role of deacons in some of the dioceses where she served. Jennifer realized that the priest represents the transcendent relation of God and humans, and the deacon stands for the horizontal relation between God and the world, together forming a cross. After receiving her MDiv from Nashotah House Theological Seminary, she served the Right Rev. Frey as a writer and developer of the biblical background for the three-year lectionary-based curriculum, Living the Good News, which is still used nationally, and, as a member of the Commission on Ministry, was the principal designer of the diocesan program for the discernment and ordination of candidates for the diaconate. Jennifer taught others how to serve as deacons in the liturgy and in various outreach ministries. This work and the requirements she helped to develop led to her own ordination. Jennifer recognized that deacons connect Christian spirituality to the real-life needs of the world. She believed that ordained clergy should not override lay ministries and that deacons are charged to remind the ordained to fulfill their given ministries. True to her own teaching, while working on her PhD in New York, she served at St. Mary's, Harlem, a racially and culturally diverse parish. When Jennifer and Robert moved to NH, she established an unofficial link with St. Mary's that resulted in an active collegial/congregational relationship between New Hope Baptist Church, and Christ Church that lasted for 11 years until her retirement in 2002. For example, Jennifer arranged for the St. Mary’s Gospel Choir to visit and perform at the University of New Hampshire, Durham, and at New Hope Baptist Church and Christ Church, Portsmouth. Further, Jennifer worked closely with Valerie Cunningham to develop the Black Heritage Trail of New Hampshire and served on the executive board at the regional NAACP chapter. Jennifer considered her marriage of 52+ years her primary life accomplishment. During their decades together, Jennifer and Robert explored the relationship between a gay man and a straight woman in love. With the support of area clergy, Robert came out as gay on May 21, 1997. Jennifer is survived by her beloved spouse, Robert Earl Stiefel, six nieces and nephews and their families, 12 grand-nieces and grand-nephews, and numerous cousins. Jennifer was born in Boston, MA, the daughter of the late Kilby Page Smith, Jr. (born in Waltham, MA, on Feb. 25, 1904, and died in Boston, MA, May 13, 1980), and Elizabeth Carret Smith (born in Brookline, MA, on Sep. 24, 1908 and died in Greenville, SC, on Oct. 23, 1984). Jennifer was predeceased by her brother, Kilby Page Smith III (born Dec. 28, 1933, in Waltham, MA, and died Jul. 12, 2008, in Greenville, SC,) and his wife Patricia (Patt) Alden Smith (born Aug. 22, 1938 in Warren, OH, and died in Greenville, SC, on Oct. 17, 2020), and her two sisters, Sandra Carret Smith Short (born in Boston, MA, on Jan. 12, 1933 and died in Boston, MA, on Oct. 2, 1981; husband, Leonard Victor Short, Jr.;) and Margot Weld Smith Hambly Cole (born in Nantucket, MA on Aug. 23, 1938, and died in San Francisco, on Mar. 25, 1989; husband, Richard S. Cole).. The family thanks Constellation Hospice and Dover Center staff for loving care. Jennifer’s ashes were interred at Christ Church, Portsmouth, NH, and at St. Gregory’s Abbey, Three Rivers, MI. A Requiem Service was offered on Tuesday, June 21, 2022, at Christ Church, Portsmouth, and an Interment Service was offered on July 8, 2022, at St. Gregory’s Abbey. Videos of both services are available. May she rest in peace, rise in glory, and know the grateful welcome of her Savior, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” In lieu of flowers, memorials to the Seacoast NAACP and the Black Heritage Trail of New Hampshire would be greatly appreciated. Obituary at https://www.taskerfuneralservice.com/.