James Eric Bench

After several long and sleepless nights we said our goodbyes to James Bench this morning at 3am. He passed peacefully as our daughter and i held his hands. If you never met Superman you missed out. I tried to write down a brief description of our man of steel for those that didn’t know him well. James Eric Bench June 12,1972-April 19,2021 Love of My Life James and I have a love that grew as we did. We were in our mid twenties when we met. He was the rock of our family. Quiet demeanor but as my mother would point out when he spoke you should listen. He usually didn’t speak until spoken to. He wasn’t the type of person that would strike up a conversation with you in the grocery store line (that is me and it used to drive him crazy!) He was a patient man. We met when he was a police officer in Maysville. He was on duty and he saw me walk across the street. He had mentioned he wanted a girlfriend/someone to date and turned to the other officer and said what about her. He was told not to pursue me ha ha! I was a wild one and not his type he said. So of course that didn’t stop him (thank goodness ). Our first date was target practicing at the shooting range near Gallatin and subway sandwiches. He would come into Casey’s where i made pizzas and order pizzas almost every day. I started to put pictures on his pizzas a peace sign or an image and after dating always a heart made of Pepperonis (his favorite and only kind of pizza he would order). He shared my long standing love for Mustang’s and we remodeled his 85 fox body together and over the years there was almost always a Pony in the garage. Once i found a beautiful green colored Mustang sent it to him he said it wasn’t a ‘real’ Mustang since it was only a 4 cylinder ! Agreed! He love love loved puppies. He was always a sucker for free puppies sign and would try to talk me into getting a puppy. After the kids left we had an empty nest. James would daily send me pics of puppies available. I said no we need to meet our next animal. Then two days later i saw the prettiest cat online and immediately commented ‘I will take him!’ James said what about meeting and greeting? me -‘oops?’ ha But he is such a puppy love guy. He kept sending pics and I finally relented when he sent me pics of a litter of dachshunds nearby for sale. I shocked him though, when asked which puppy i wanted, i said we would take both! So our house was full. Samson the cat was supposed to be mine but he chose James (whether James liked it or not) slept on his feet on the bed or if kicked off bed would sleep on his shoes on the floor !!! The doxies (Penny Lane and Abbey Road) were our love children 🤣. I was depressed as i had to get a hysterectomy and while i didn’t want to raise kids again i had a bit of empty nest syndrome going on and the pups helped get me through that and then when James was sick they were the best nurses. When i was at work i would get videos and pics ‘we miss you mommy, can’t wait to see you’. I would come home and he would be asleep in the chair with dogs and cat all piled on him. He would say ‘ i was going to do some laundry today but these energy suckers wouldn’t let me get up!’ Over 20 years just hasn’t been long enough to share with him. We planned on being old together. We wanted to travel more. The last 2 years he would express how upset he was at the thought of not being able to grow old together, thats all we both wanted. We were opposites that attracted, we completed each other. There will never be enough words or the right words to describe this man and the life he had. Throughout the years we raised three children together. Gage, Dylan and Ashlee. He encouraged me to go to college then I said why don’t you go too? So we both received our degrees a few years ago and graduated together on the same day at Missouri Western State University. We rode four wheelers, UTV’s and motorcycles. James loved 80’s music. Hair Metal band era. His favorite color -blue (like his eyes). Favorite band Led Zeppelin he also liked Ozzy Osbourne and KISS. Favorite thing - his family and framily (friend family) We have been blessed with such amazing friends and family. We shared so many firsts together and in 2018 he met his grand daughter Alaina and she stole both our hearts. There is something about a father daughter bond which continues to the grands. He was so very proud of all three of the kids. Each unique and successful in their own way we often marveled at how well they turned out and how proud we were. He has 6 brothers and sisters that loved him dearly and while he wasn’t the youngest he was the baby of the family, there was no secret he was his moms favorite to spoil on! He wasn’t overly social. You wouldn’t find him at the bar or social gatherings , instead he would be working or at home.... working! When he was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in June 2019 he was working full time at Caldwell County Sheriffs Department. He also worked at Clinton County and Hamilton PD, he would also do seasonal work like mowing yards as well as trash outs on homes for extra money. As long as we were together there was not one single time he wasn’t fully employed and supporting his family. How can you really describe this man of few words in a few words? You can’t. Husband, father, son, brother, papa, uncle, friend, police officer- these descriptor words with thousands of memories attached are all that remain. We were a team. Every thought and desire shared. Over the years he always took care of me and kept our household in order. His biggest challenge though probably was trying to teach me how to be on my own. It scared him to think of me on my own (scares me too). He taught me how to try and fill his shoes. Bill paying, mowing the yard, home repairs i even learned how to do lock changes for homes. But nothing prepares you for this and never can i ever fill his shoes. Dubbed superman, he was only given 2-3 months to live and yet he made it nearly 2 years. He had the strongest will to live but his body just didn’t cooperate and the doctors just wouldn’t let him keep fighting. Pancreatic cancer diagnosis is a death sentence with most people not living more than a few weeks after diagnosis. In November he started his spiral downward. After bad news in March we planned a trip to see Mount Rushmore. He had always wanted to go there. He said he only wished we had gone when he felt a little better to enjoy all the local attractions. He was so sick he spent most of the trip in the bed or on his knees puking/dry heaving in the toilet. We planned to renew our vows on Monday April 5 and he was up all night sick. I told him it was silly and i didn’t need a ceremony (we had never had one) i knew how much he loved me i didn’t need it ...but he still insisted on doing it. Even in the last days he worried about me more than himself. Saying goodbye these last two years to my best friend and half my heart will be the hardest thing i have ever faced in my life. He quietly snuck in and stole my heart. He will always be the love of my life.