Tom Neely, of San Juan Capistrano, passed peacefully on December 13, 2024. Tom was born in Los Angeles, California to Thomas and Violet Neely on September 29, 1928. Tom Sr. was born in Washington and moved to Santa Barbara, California at a young age. Vi was born in Kansas but was orphaned as a girl and raised by an older sister in the oil fields of Taft, California.

An only child, Tom was raised along with his older half-sister, Norma Swank, in Downey, California during the Great Depression. Much of the family’s time in Downey was spent on a small farm next to the San Gabriel River where Tom Sr. raised game birds, chickens, and turkeys to supplement his earnings as a night watchman at the local packing house. Vi worked in the polio ward at the Rancho Los Amigos Hospital. With the fresh food from the garden and the fruit they canned, they were never hungry. To help out, Tommy earned money setting smudge pots in the nearby orange orchards, working at a garage and setting pins at the local bowling alley. They were idyllic times.

From this point on, Tom’s story is entwined with that of his wife, Dorothy. For nearly 80 years, they shared each other’s lives since the day they first met at Fresno’s Washington Union High School in 1942. Tom had just moved to the area with his parents following his dad’s impetuous purchase of a farm on the west side of the valley.

Tom found Dorothy to be attractive, intelligent and someone with a sense of adventure. Dorothy was smitten with the charming new boy from Downey with the long dark hair. Their first date was on Valentine’s Day, and they were together ever since.

Their first years together were during the exciting and tumultuous period of World War II. Dating was frequently a low budget affair that might include watching Dorothy’s brothers play baseball or attending a track meet at the college. From time to time they were able to enjoy dancing to the music of some of the biggest bands of the ‘Big Band Era’ when they played in Fresno, including Benny Goodman and his orchestra.

After graduating from high school in 1945, Tom enlisted in the Army and wound up being sent to Korea where a new conflict was simmering. While in Korea, he attained the rank of Sergeant and was in charge of the Communication Center / Headquarters Company. Those experiences were to influence him for the rest of his life. On his way home, aboard a liberty ship, he was almost swept overboard during a typhoon in the north Pacific. He returned to the states with story after story, but the one thing he never forgot was the cold.

After his stint in the Orient at the end of World War II, Tom returned to Fresno to resume his courtship of Dorothy. Their dates included hockey games in the winter and rodeos in the summer. Her sister Audrey took them to watch her future husband, Ben Warden, as he drove in figure eight dirt track races and destruction derbies.

While Tom was overseas, Dorothy had attended Fresno State College to earn a teaching credential. When he returned home, Tom and Dorothy joined with Tom’s mother, Vi, at the Danish Creamery plant where the women wrapped cubes of butter and Tom was responsible for steam-cleaning the equipment. Tom went on to become a welder and worked at fabricating food processing equipment.

Tom and Dorothy were married on October 8, 1948. They moved in with Tom’s folks and lived on their farm. While Tom continued working as a welder, Dorothy went to work as a secretary at a local trucking company, Valley Lines. Almost exactly two years following the wedding, they were blessed with their first child, Tim, born on October 7, 1950. The three of them continued to live on the farm until 1952 when Tom’s dad was forced to return to Downey for health reasons.

Coincidentally, Tom was offered a position by his brother-in-law, Earl Ludwick, to serve as manager of a machine shop near Downey that made parts for the B-52 bomber. Tom and Dorothy bought their first house in Rivera to be near Tom’s folks. While Tom and his dad, Tom Sr. worked at the machine shop, Dorothy took a job in the personnel department of a factory making oil drilling equipment and Vi resumed her position as an orderly delivering meals to Polio patients at Rancho Los Amigos Hospital.

This was an exciting time for the family. Tom set about fixing up the house and even built a greenhouse behind the garage where he would grow orchids. Trips to the desert yielded black lava rocks that were used to build a fountain in his tropical garden. For entertainment, the three of them would visit Tom’s folks on Wednesday nights where Dorothy would give Vi a permanent in the kitchen while the men were in the living room watching boxing and roller derby under a blue cloud of cigar smoke. Tom and Dorothy also enjoyed going to dances at the Downey Woman’s Club with Norma and Earl.

After a few years of working for others, Tom and Dorothy concluded that it would be better to find something that would allow them to chart their own course. After careful analysis, they concluded that owning their own pharmacy would be the ticket. Since she had the best academic background, it was decided to put Dorothy through pharmacy school. However, before she could be accepted at the University of Southern California, she needed to complete some required math and science courses at Long Beach City College. Tom set out to learn the business of running a pharmacy and went to work at Thrifty’s where he rose to become the manager of their Lynwood store.

This was a challenging time for Tom and Dorothy. Tom would work extra shifts to help pay the bills and Dorothy would work and study around the clock. It was not uncommon for her to be sitting at the kitchen table studying until midnight with a cup of black coffee and a pack of Chesterfields to keep her awake, only to get up at 5:30 to get Tim ready for school in the morning. Once she got far enough along in her training, she also began working part-time at a drug store in Huntington Park.

Family vacations in the 50s typically involved visits to Dorothy’s folks, Ed, and Amelia. Stays on the farm would include day trips to the Sierras for boating or fishing, sightseeing at Yosemite and panning for gold on the Kings River. Uncle Archie, who lived on the adjoining farm, would fill his ‘pool’ when he heard visitors were coming. His pool was a hand dug affair lined with concrete and filled with ice cold water straight from the well. With no drain, the water was a little questionable after a week or so. Warm summer evenings involved barbeques with fresh picked corn and fruit, sitting on tractor seats that had been converted to deck chairs and eating hand made ice cream.

After completing her course of education at USC and receiving her Doctorate of Pharmacy degree, Dorothy went to work at Thrifty’s to add to the family nest egg. Next came the question of where to set up their business once sufficient funds were available. The two finalist locations were the small town of Coarsegold at the base of the Sierra’s and the resort community of Palm Springs. Eventually Palm Springs won out when Tom and Dorothy learned of a small store for sale and were offered a deal they could not refuse.

The business, Sunrise Pharmacy, was located adjacent to a medical clinic in what was then the extreme northeast corner of town. There was virtually nothing but desert across the street from the store all the way until you reached Indio. Tom and Dorothy put everything they had on the line to buy this store. They sold their house and furniture in Pico Rivera and bought the business along with a new tract house near the pharmacy.

When they took over the store, they could not afford to purchase much of an inventory, so the shelves were stocked with only one of each item. If a customer needed something before the wholesaler could deliver it the next day, Tom would go to Ramon Drugs, owned by the same person who had sold them the pharmacy, to pick up what was needed and then deliver it free of charge to the customer.

There was no furniture in the new house other than a couple of mattresses to sleep on. The yard was nothing but sand. Everything had been devoted to getting the store up and running. Tom, Dorothy, and Tim worked round the clock to make the business a success, rarely getting home to dinner until nine o’clock at night, six days a week. To keep and attract customers, they provided free delivery. They would go anywhere, from Desert Hot Springs to Morongo Valley or 29 Palms, from Indio to La Quinta. They even delivered in the middle of raging storms and were once the last car that barely made it across Whitewater Wash before it was closed due to flooding.

All of this stress had a price and eventually led to Tom suffering a heart attack in 1966. While Tom was recuperating, Tim pitched in to help run the store and Dorothy assumed even more responsibilities. Eventually, the store began to thrive, Tom regained his health, and everything worked out well.

In 1968 after Tim had left home to attend college, Tom and Dorothy discovered that they were going to have another baby. Although this was not a planned event, they soon embraced the news and set about preparing for another member of the family. Tragically, their first daughter, Thea Samantha, died at birth. This unbelievably painful loss could have crushed others, but Tom and Dorothy chose to persevere. They decided that they should try again and were rewarded on December 1, 1969 with another daughter, Tiffany Sarita.

Tiffany was truly a blessing from God and brought immediate joy to the proud parents. Her arrival also marked a new era for Tom and Dorothy. By now, the store was prospering to the point that a second pharmacist could be brought on and Tom and Dorothy could start taking extended vacations with Tiffany. They were able to take road trips all over the western states including one notable journey to Alaska via overnight ferries and the Yukon Highway. They tackled just about every dirt road in the southwest whether it was a dead-end or not.

They bought a boat in San Diego and spent weekends and one month each summer enjoying the nautical life while taking Tiffany to outdoor plays and concerts at Balboa Park. One boat led to another and they eventually switched from powerboats to sailing to save on fuel costs.

When they purchased their brand-new sailboat, the “Miss Tiffany”, its shakedown cruise to Ensenada proved to be one of the most exciting ‘Neely Adventures’ ever. Due to water in the fuel tanks, they almost wound up on the rocks as they tried to exit San Diego harbor. Then, as they were sailing to the islands offshore from Ensenada, five-year-old Tiffany said, “I think I hear water.” It turned out that she was correct - the propeller and shaft had worked loose and wedged into the rudder which was the only thing that kept it from being lost all together. While Tom staunched the flow inside the engine compartment, Tim donned his scuba gear and pounded the prop and shaft back into place while the hull pounded him. This era was a wonderful time for the family and still holds fond memories for everyone.

Having Tiffany around kept Tom young at heart and significantly slowed his progression to becoming the curmudgeon we all knew and loved. Raising a daughter and having another female to share things with was a new joy for Dorothy.

In 1970, Tim married Sharon Munns and, after living with Tim’s Grandma Vi for two years, they moved to their first home in San Juan Capistrano. In the late ‘70’s / early ‘80’s, they blessed Tom and Dorothy with their first grandchildren, Ryan Thomas and Kerry Ann.

This period of rekindled spirits brought other benefits to Tom and Dorothy. Through his involvement with the Rotary Club, Tom befriended another member who encouraged him to reflect on his relationship with God. This led to Tom and Dorothy’s renewal of faith and their ongoing worship at Our Savior’s Church.

Tom enjoyed music and had several favored artists including Chet Atkins, The Carpenters and Jackie Gleason and his orchestra. He wired speakers throughout the house so he could always have music on in the background. He also purchased an organ and, relying on piano lessons from his youth, spent many hours playing it, especially during the holidays.

Tom also enjoyed taking the family on camping trips into the desert and mountains. During some of those trips, he would pan for gold. He got so interested in gold panning, he went in on a mining claim in the mountains near Big Bear and spent many pleasurable days there prospecting.

To avoid the summer heat in Palm Springs, Tom and Dorothy purchased a travel trailer and eventually had it placed adjacent to the lake at Big Bear. This summer weekend getaway was put to good use by the whole family. Their love for the mountains also led them to purchase a site for a possible retirement cabin on property located in Colorado in a remote portion of the Rocky Mountains. They went so far as to have plans drawn for a log cabin and installed utilities at the site in anticipation of construction.

During a later motorhome trip to inspect the Colorado property, Tom, Tim, Tiffany, and granddaughter Kerry went on a thrilling whitewater raft ride down the Arkansas River. Dorothy stayed on shore to tend to their other beloved family member, Raider, a huge black and white Australian Shepherd who enriched their lives for many years.

About the time that Tiffany entered high school, some clouds started to loom on the business horizon. By now, much of the store’s business was based on Medicare and Medical along with more complicated insurance programs. As the bureaucratic red tape began to rise, reimbursements became more and more tardy. Things reached a crisis point when the doctor’s who owned the clinic took charge of the lease extension for the pharmacy. They imposed impossible demands and ultimately forced Tom and Dorothy out of the facility they had worked so very hard to make a success.

Undaunted, Tom found a spot across the street from the entrance to Desert Hospital and bid adieu to the doctors. With typical commitment and determination, he planned the relocation of the store to occur over one long weekend. For 48 hours Tom and Tim worked non-stop on final carpentry and painting while Dorothy and Tiffany restocked the shelves. By Monday morning Sunrise Pharmacy was back in business.

The new location was a success. Tom and Dorothy retained a significant clientele based on their professionalism and devotion to customer service. The doctors at the clinic never succeeded in finding a paying lessee to replace Sunrise Pharmacy and eventually they went out of business. At the new location, Tom and Dorothy were able to sublet part of their space to their accountant who Tiffany began to work for part-time when she was not working in the pharmacy.

Eventually the burdens associated with Medicare, Medical and the insurance programs became too substantial. About the time that Tiffany was ready to set out on her own, and after 25 years of building and running their cherished business, Tom and Dorothy decided to sell the store and retire.

In October of 1996, Tiffany married Ken Hensley and moved to the Imperial Valley. By 2001, Tom and Dorothy were presented with their third grandchild, Wyatt Allen Ray.

In August 2000, Tim married Rhonda Heacock and Tom and Dorothy gained another grandchild, Rhonda’s 13-year-old daughter, Gina Marie.

During retirement, road trips became a staple activity. For many summers, Tom and Dorothy helped care for their grandson. This included a trip to Yellowstone and Mt. Rushmore that produced a notable quote from eight year old Wyatt who, when it was evident that they were lost, suggested “Just look for the mountain with the heads on it.”

Thanks to Tom’s aversion to flying, they enjoyed cross-country road trips to the northeast states to see the fall colors and to the southeast where they boarded a ship in Florida for a Caribbean cruise. These trips, along with many travels throughout the southwest, enabled Tom to take hundreds of landscape photographs that would then serve as the basis for his numerous watercolors.

In 2015, Tom and Dorothy moved to San Juan Capistrano to be near Tim and his wife Rhonda. While in San Juan, a favorite time was Saturday night when they would all gather for dinner prepared by Dorothy followed by a rousing game of Catan. They lived there happily until Dorothy’s death in 2020. In the summer of 2024, Tom moved to the Heart and Hand Care Facility in El Centro where he could be close to Tiffany and her husband Ken. Tom flourished during his stay at Heart and Hand. He was treated like a king and his final months were enriched by the care provided at the facility and the numerous visits by Ken and Tiffany.

Throughout his life, Tom was well known by others for his numerous and diverse interests which included:

Watercolors

Tom was an accomplished watercolor artist. He loved color and would intensify the hue and saturation of natural colors until he was satisfied with the outcome. Later on, many of his pictures were on display in his garage and neighbors would always stop by on walks to admire his work.

Gardening

Starting in the 50s, Tom had a greenhouse in Rivera where he grew orchids. When he moved to the desert, he built another greenhouse in Palm Springs that was attached to the house so the plants could be on display at all times. In San Juan Capistrano, there was no room for a greenhouse, but he had plants on display on both patios.

Ham Radio

Tom got into amateur radio in the 50s at the behest of his brother-in-law Earl Ludwick. His call sign was K6JYJ and Earl dubbed Tom the Jolly Young Joker. Later on, Tim took up ham radio and he and Tom spent many hours on the air together and had many memorable adventures out in the field.

Boating

Starting with an eight-foot Sabot sailboat, Tom graduated to power boats including a classic Chris-Craft cabin cruiser and a new thirty-two-foot California sedan with a fly bridge. Then, in 1976, during the Arab oil embargo, Tom gave up on power boats and switched to a thirty-five-foot blue water Cal-35 sailboat. Over the years, the family enjoyed numerous trips to Mexico and Catalina. On one notable outing, Tom, Tim, Earl and his son, Butch, caught the largest Marlin of the year off the Catalina coast. It was an epic adventure!

Projects

Throughout his life, Tom always had some kind of project that he was working on. Whether it was a room addition or deck, moving a fence, installing sprinklers or building a custom entertainment center or bookcase, a butcherblock table, a model railroad layout…the list was endless. Every morning when he awoke, the first thing on his mind was what he needed to accomplish that day.

That drive to get things done was Tom’s most defining characteristic.

xxx

Tom and Dorothy enjoyed a wonderful lifelong partnership.

They vowed to remain together for eternity.

Tom is survived by son Tim Neely (Rhonda), daughter Tiffany Hensley (Ken), grandchildren Ryan Neely, Kerry Kilmurray (Kevin) Wyatt Hensley (Rebecca), Gina McGlynn (Shamus) and great-grandchildren Brady Kilmurray and Reagan Kilmurray. Tom is predeceased by his wife, Dorothy Ann.