Viola “Olie” nee Durksen Eckert (Mom) was born September 18, 1937 in Arnaud, Manitoba to David and Sara Durksen. She was the second youngest of 12 siblings. As one of the youngest (youngest daughter), she was doted on by both parents and elder siblings. She recalled asking for sugar on her breakfast cereal one morning. Her eldest sister Sarah told her she didn’t need any sugar. When Sarah turned her back, her mother quickly scooped some sugar onto Mom’s cereal. While sitting at Mom’s bedside during her last few days, her sister Aggie fondly talked about how Viola was their father’s favourite. He loved how she pushed the limits and it seemed she could sweet talk him into anything.

Around 1948, the family moved to St. Catharines. Mom graduated from Eden Christian High School and moved to Woodstock to teach in a one-room schoolhouse. On moving back to St. Catharines, she taught for the Lincoln County School Board, most of those years as a kindergarten teacher. She was known by the school board as the “kindergarten lady” when she was a supply teacher.

The Durksen family attended Scott Street Mennonite Brethren Church. It was there that she was noticed by John Eckert, who mailed her a letter asking if she would go out on a date with him (1960). Of course, her sisters read the letter. At first, they discussed that perhaps John had mixed up the sisters and had meant to write to one of the others! In the end, sister Kae wrote the response on Mom’s behalf. That was the start of a 63-year love story . . . and a continuation of the doting! (During retirement Dad went out every morning to buy Mom a Tim Horton’s coffee.)

Mom was truly the heart of our family. We kids [daughter Shannon Peters (Howie), daughter Marsha MacLean (John), son Matthew Eckert (Janice), and daughter Merelee Janzen (Karl)] experienced her as warm, accepting and comforting. However, she had zero tolerance for nonsense from us. Matthew told of a time when he was being disrespectful and declared that he had rights too! Her response? “The only rights you have are the ones I give you.” And that ended it.

She was adored by all her grandchildren: Darren Peters (Amy), Colin Peters (Mandy), Emmalyne Sullivan (Ryan), Mark Robinson (Christina), Manley Robinson, Taylor Eckert (Stephanie), Madison Eckert, Joshua Janzen, Megan Janzen. My (Marsha’s) daughter Emmalyne once snuggled up to me as a child and said, “you smell like Grandma”. I loved that because I know that the scent of Grandma conjured up for her warm and comforting memories. Mom loved to talk on the phone with them (Megan would sneak a phone into her bedroom when she was given a “time out” by her parents and she would call Grandma) and the annual trips to Fantasy Island were much anticipated (especially Grandma’s crazy bumper car driving!). Playing card games with Grandpa and Grandma was always a highlight and many life lessons were learned – including how to cheat!

Granddaughter Madison recently noted that Grandma was “The Party”. And boy was she ever!! She had a playful side to her. She would quite often make an inappropriate or controversial statement during family meals just to get a rise out of everyone. She threw creativity, surprises and special moments into every family gathering. Her hands down favourite time of year was Christmas. Their home on Huntington Lane dripped with Christmas decorations. Music and lights were found at every turn starting with Christmas music playing from the doorbell. A clock played a carol every hour on the hour. When Amy (granddaughter-in-law) went into the powder room to discover a toilet seat that played Christmas music Amy announced that it looked like Christmas had thrown up in the house. Mom gave Amy a lump of coal for a gift that year!

Mom loved to talk and was a wonderful conversationalist. When grandchildren asked her questions, her answers were not always completely truthful. With a nudge and a wink she took certain liberties with the truth that became a much-loved joke in the family. She had 2 reasons for doing this:

1. I give the answer that will make people feel happy.

2. If I don’t know the answer, I just make it up because the grandkids don’t really want THE answer . . . they just want AN answer.

Mom was very happy when she and Dad moved to the apartment at Tabor where she could live close to her sisters. The sisters had an evening ritual where they would meet at Aunt Sarah’s apartment to have a piece of chocolate each and, of course, some lively discussion! Just before everyone went to their own apartments, they would sing, “Good night ladies”.

In retirement, Wheel of Fortune was an almost daily ritual. Mom shared dad’s love of reading and they never missed the daily news on TV and via the St. Catharines Standard.

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.” (from a headstone in Ireland) To say that she loved dad was an understatement and the sense of loss she felt when he fell in 2022 and later succumbed to his injuries in February 2023 was profound. Her grief was further complicated by her disease that stripped her of her ability to process it or articulate the loss. But it seemed to remain on the edges of her memory even when words failed her.

She was GiGi to Kieran and Declan Peters; Elliot, Rowan and McKinley Peters; Jonathan, Lucille, Sadie, Leona and Sebastian Eckert; Allie and Jack Sullivan; and Josephine and Eloise Robinson. Pictures and videos of these little people brought smiles to her face during her almost 2 year stay at Tabor Manor long term care.

Mom’s faith in God was a constant. A common conclusion to conversation surrounding a problem, grief or stress, was “I’m going to pray about it”. When she went through stages of anxiety due to her dementia, she could often be soothed by singing hymns of the faith. A few of us stood by her bedside as she breathed her last breaths. It was a poignant moment when strains from the residents’ lounge drifted into her room . . . “In the sweet bye and bye; we shall meet on that beautiful shore”.

We are deeply grateful for the love, compassion and gentle care she received from staff on floor 4 of Tabor Manor Long Term Care. She hated her dementia and while it dimmed the light of recognition in her eyes, it will never take from us the flame of admiration, respect and love for her that we carry.

Mom, your love will live forever in our hearts along with the ache of missing you. Wish I could call you.

Cremation has taken place. Visitation will be held on Friday, November 22nd at 10:00 a.m. with the Celebration of Life service following at 11:00 a.m. Both will take place at Southridge Community Church located at 201 Glenridge Avenue in St. Catharines. The service will be live-streamed at: southridgechurch.ca/violaeckert

Memorial donations to the Radiant Care Foundation in honour of the loving care that Viola received would be gratefully appreciated by the family: https://radiantcare.net/foundation/