Andrew Has Left The Building*

It is with deep sadness that we announce the passing away of Andrew (Andy) Barbato, beloved father/stepfather, grandfather, great-grandfather, beautiful human being. He was 98.

He is survived by his family in Pennsylvania and New Jersey - Ken and Sharon and their children (who so adored him as their G-Pa); Steve and Jackie and children. He was predeceased by his wife Eleanor (née DiRocco) who passed away in 2016, his parents Robert and Florence, and brother Albert.

Dad Andy came into my husband's life when he was a very young boy so to Steve, he was DAD. The father who raised him, dealt with his shenanigans, was there for all his life's milestones, treated him with patience, love and kindness and was every bit the father he needed in his life. To say that he is grateful to this man is an understatement. I will leave it at that.

Andrew Barbato was born on June 24, 1926 to Robert and Florence Barbato in Paterson, NJ. He was named after his grandfather - and he once told me how he was originally named John but when his grandfather found out, he had a fit, so they made that his middle name and he became Andrew John Barbato. 

His Dad Robert was a piano player who also worked at the silk factory in Paterson as a loom maker. His family had emigrated from northern Italy and, like many other Italians from that area at that time, settled down in Paterson, NJ (which was then also called The Silk City during the 19th century to the early 20th century). His mother Florence was a homemaker who worked at the Quakenbush Department Store during the war. She got Dad hired when he was still in high school for his first job: wrapping gifts during the Christmas season. He earned 35 cents an hour. Dad's only brother, Albert, was a musician and played the guitar. He died early at 50.

Dad signed up for the service when he was still in his senior year in high school. Three weeks before graduation he got called up and went to the Navy Facility in Rhode Island. After the war, he returned to New Jersey, went to photography school with the GI Bill, and then opened his own photography business. He specialized in weddings but also did a lot of portraiture in his studio and in schools around the tristate area. It was in one of those student yearbook portrait sessions at Rutgers University that he met this woman named Rose who immediately knew he was perfect for her friend, Eleanor. Rose set these two up and Dad took Mom Eleanor to the Playboy Club in New York City for their first date. 

On their second date, he met a very young Steve for the first time - who, with the encouragement of his aunts (Mom's younger sisters), ran down the stairs asking loudly, "Are you my new Daddy?" Lesser men would have been cowed by that - but not Andrew Barbato, who indeed became Steve's new Daddy when he married his Ellie a few months after. Yup, a whirlwind courtship. As Dad told me, "When you know, you know." 

He adored my mother-in-law from the first time he laid eyes on her and treated her like his queen until she passed away a few years back. A couple of years ago, on his wife's sixth death anniversary, I took him to an empty church so he could say some prayers and I found him sobbing on the pew. I sat next to him as he quietly told me how he missed his Ellie every single day and couldn't believe that they had been apart all those years. He added: "I thought I'd go soon after her."

Well, he is now with his Eleanor, and I bet you he is serenading her with Elvis Presley's "Love Me Tender." Oh, he loved Elvis. On those times he stayed with us, he'd go into the kitchen in the morning and would ask Alexa to put on Elvis music while he did his long breakfast ritual (he was very methodical about pouring just the right amount of cereal into his bowl, washing the fruits, slicing the fruits when necessary, adding the prunes on top of the fruits on top of his cereal, adding some granola and some nuts, going to the fridge to get his almond milk, pouring some into the cereal, putting the milk back, then finally sitting down to eat breakfast - all of this prep  taking about twenty minutes, with him shuffling around the kitchen in time to Elvis music). 

At least once a day, I'd take him for a ride as he loved listening to Elvis with the car stereo blasting. I discovered all these side streets in my town, and the next town, and the next, including a few parks here and there I would never have gone to without him. And then, when the song "Are you Lonesome Tonight" would come on, he'd get very quiet and then sing along. If I were able to, he'd ask me to park the car so we could both fully enjoy the song. Each time the song ended he would remark, "Ah, beautiful song" or "My favorite!" I also made him laugh when I'd dance in my seat when fast tempo songs like "Don't Be Cruel" would come on. He'd laugh, shake his head, probably thinking what kind of nut his son married. But he'd also be bopping his head gamely, big smile on his face.

We created so many beautiful memories together. I lost my own Papa more than three decades ago. Dad gave me a chance to "spoil" a father the way he deserved to be spoiled. I took him to pedicures, to a horse carriage ride in Central Park, around New York landmarks that he as someone who grew up in the area never even went to (Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Empire State), made him experience cuisines he had never tried (Oh geez - he would say - unbelievable!) and he also made me brave: being my navigator as I drove for the first time in highways for over a hundred miles to Pennsylvania - just him and me, driving for hours to and from PA singing along to Elvis. He was always a fun companion.   

If you knew Andy, you loved him. We all loved him. His two favorite daughters-in-law loved him (he'd smile each time Sharon called him, "Hey, Handsome..."). Ken and Steve loved him and was grateful to him for his steadiness and the love he showered their mom. My 37-year old son loved him. He loved their lunches together, watching and discussing old movies with him. Jen, Joe, Hannah, Kenny, Julia, Alyssa, Greg loved and adored him. They loved making him laugh and making him feel loved, each and every time he was around them. He adored them back. He was the best! Our friends who came to the house called him Dad, too, and loved him. The nurses and doctors at the clinics loved him. People in church loved him. Anyone who knew him knew he was the kindest, most gentle human being. I never heard him speak ill of anyone. Not a one. That heart! It was so golden it radiated nothing but love.

One time, many, many years ago, he and I were walking around Park Lake here in Rockaway when he started telling me how his father used to call him Chucksy, and then Chuckie. I asked why and he said that it was because he was becoming chubby as a kid. When I pressed him about how he felt about that he said, "I knew he loved me - whatever he called me: Andy or Chucksy or Chuckie - that was okay. Eh, what you gonna do?" And he shrugged, and gave me a genuinely beaming smile. For some reason that resonated with me. He always hung on to the good and the beautiful and the love.

Today, the whole family grieves the loss of this beautiful human being. But we also are grateful that we  had the privilege of having known and loved (and loved back by) him. We also take comfort in the knowledge that he is now resting peacefully and lovingly. No more pain for him, no more sadness, just love. He is now with his Eleanor. Maybe Elvis, too.

Cole Funeral Home & Cremation Center, Robesonia is handling arrangements. Online condolences may be made at www.ColeFH.com

A Memorial Service will be held on Saturday, July 27, 2024 at 2:00 PM at Shillington Assembly of God, 50 New Holland Rd., Shillington, PA 19607 with Pastor Hugh Flanagan officiating.

Burial will be private at Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in Totowa, NJ.

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made in his memory to Shillington Assembly of God at the above address.

Andrew has now left the building* and we carry on the music. As Dad would have said, "Eh, what you gonna do?"

We love you, Dad. Farewell. ❤️