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MERCER, ME

Diane Reed McNair, 82, died on May 27 after a long and loving visit with her husband and four children at the Hospice House in Auburn, Maine.

Diane grew up with her younger brother James, in Keene, NH, the daughter of Sylvia “Sue” Reed, a homemaker, and Herman Reed, a photographer and bandleader. She spent her early summers with her beloved grandparents, Austin and Bertha Reed in Goffstown, where Austin was the pastor of the Episcopal Church. He was also the chaplain of the statehouse in Concord. A photograph of the day Austin took her with him to see the statehouse and have lunch shows how special the event was for both of them, he sporting a broad-brimmed straw hat above his vestments, and she wearing a white dress and a big smile.

In describing her mother, Diane often recalled Saturday nights in her girlhood, when her bandleader father was away at a gig and she and her mother watched the Sid Caesar comedy show together, laughing so hard that Sue sometimes fell off the couch onto the floor. Through her dad, Diane became acquainted with jazz singers, and she spent many happy hours listening to their records. When she became a vocalist in her own band many years later, those songs were at the center of her repertoire.

In 1962, Diane met her husband, Wesley McNair, at the Howard Johnson’s restaurant in Keene, where they both worked while he attended college. One night, she gave him a ride home in her ‘57 Chevy wagon, and they began to share their passion for art. Wes told her he wanted to be a poet, and she said she loved music and dreamed of becoming a painter. As the rides continued, he discovered qualities he came to admire all his life: her feistiness and quick wit, her impatience with hypocrisy and pretense, and her commitment to social justice. Their courtship led to their marriage a year later, and eventually to a family of four children: from oldest to youngest, David, Joel, Sean and Shanna.

The marriage lasted for more than 60 years, and at the beginning, there were plenty of struggles. While Wes taught school and pieced together advanced degrees during summers, Diane, loyal to a fault, took a variety of jobs to help make ends meet. Nonetheless, she found time to work on Democratic political campaigns, deeply concerned about racial inequality and the inhumanity of the Vietnam war. She also enrolled in college courses in ceramics, for which she had a unique gift. Later on, after she stepped down as a jazz vocalist, she hired a carpenter to build a home studio where she began, relentlessly, to paint, as she had once dreamed of doing.

Diane’s love for her children never wavered. In return, they all adored her, both as a mother and as a woman. Looking back on their childhood, they especially remember the delicious meals she cooked. (The only exception, they agree, was her dinners of liver and onions, which some of them fed to their beagle Phoebe under the table.) Joel recalls Diane’s loud dinner bell that brought them running home to her table from wherever they happened to be playing. David adds that once when he stayed home from school, he got to smell the stew she was slow cooking as he listened to her beautiful voice singing Joan Baez and Simon & Garfunkel songs in the kitchen.

The best memory for Sean was the books Diane read to him before bedtime, especially the Beatrix Potter story about the three animals of the forest who played musical instruments they made from a flower, an acorn and twig, and a blade of grass. Shanna speaks of the joy her mother found in her household pets and the wild birds she loved to feed; dancing with her to “Sunny Side of the Street” as a child; and her parents’ love for each other, calling it “a great love story.”

In 1987 Diane and Wes left North Sutton, New Hampshire, for Mercer, Maine, and Wes taught writing courses at the University of Maine at Farmington while she worked at the college library. About that time, she and Wes began to travel, making extensive tours of, or stays in, Spain, Italy, and the British Isles. But she was never happier than when she traveled to their camp on Drury Pond in Temple, Maine, as they did each June for twenty years, their car packed up for the summer. Diane, who loved all creatures great and small, was especially comfortable on the porch among their dogs and cat, and the loons and herons of the pond. At night, they often played cards while listening to Red Sox games on the radio. They also welcomed family and friends for swimming, barbecues and good talk. Over time, the family visitors included her children, grandchildren and first great-grandchild.

Reflecting on his role as Diane’s primary caregiver throughout her illness with Alzheimer’s disease, Wes remains grateful he was able to care for her and speaks of how close they were, even in her final days at the Hospice House in Auburn. It was in her last week there that he and all their children showed up to surprise her, David from California, Joel from New Hampshire, and Sean and Shanna from more northerly towns in Maine. During their visit, she broke into a smile and reached out for their hands, telling them again and again that she loved them, while they responded in kind. It was an extraordinarily happy day.

Diane McNair was buried after a private family memorial in the Mercer Village Cemetery on June 1, 2023. She is survived by her brother, husband, and children; her grandchildren, Aaron, Heather, Kevin, Maiya and Donnan, all from the family of David McNair; and her great-grandchildren, Vica and Holden. A public memorial for Diane will be held on Saturday, July 22, at 1 PM, at Trinity United Methodist Church 612 Farmington Falls Road Farmington.

The family wishes to thank the staff of Androscoggin Hospice for its exceptional contribution to Diane’s care. Donations in her honor may be made to the Franklin County Animal Shelter 550 Industry Road Farmington, Maine 04938 and the Nature Conservancy in Maine 14 Maine St., Suite 401 Brunswick, Me. 04011. The family asks that if flowers are considered, that the flowers are fresh cut flowers from the gardens of attendees. Condolences may be shared in her Book of Memories at www.wilesrc.com. Arrangements are in the care of the Wiles Remembrance Center Farmington, Maine.